Why Do People Judge Others?
Someone passes by, and you stare with a grimace because the vibes that come out are unpleasant. Have you ever done this?
Well, judging others is becoming a common norm in our society for innumerable reasons. Either we want, or we don’t want, but we begin or end a situation with a judgment in our mind. Moreover, we are more inclined to judge others based on first impressions.
We usually soaked in the moment that we make our minds by just a single incident or first impression. But the fact is one swallow does not make a summer, and we need to bypass things if we want to live a peaceful life – where serenity prevails.
Let’s Dive into a story
A man was walking by the side of the road at midnight. A dog was resting at the side of a footpath. Men tried to approach a dog as he found it cute. It was a cute little German- Shepard, and as he started to come closer to it, the dog suddenly started barking ferociously. All of a sudden, the first impression of cute German-Shepard now changed into disparage.
The man cursed and was moving away, as he was walking away he saw dog’s leg full of bruises. The man then realized that there was a jagged wound on the tail of a dog, as well. He then understood that there must be something wrong that happened to that dog, which causes it to bark at the top of his lungs.
All of his negative connotations now changed again towards empathy for the injured dog. The man then rescued and took it to the hospital.
Out of billions of first impression judgmental stories, this is one of them. We tend to judge people within a blink of an eye. We do it regularly that we no longer think about this bad habit of ours.
Let’s talk about; psychological reasons for judging others and what should we do instead.
Psychological reasons for judging others
Judging means making someone’s frame in our mind based on our concepts regarding numerous aspects of living. We use to frame others based on our upbringing, our thinking process, and our circumstances. We never get into the shoes of others, we never understand them; why they are like that; why they are behaving like that. Once we get ourselves into their shoes, we more likely to understand them, and once we understand them, we might not judge them as severely as we used to do.
Once we develop the habit of understanding others, before establishing any perspective of that person, we become a better person.
Psychology says we make judgments based on the following factors:
Whether our morality is somewhat in tune with the morality of the other person? How they treat other peoples, either in a principled and sophisticated way or not.
These parameters are our own (pretty much), and it established based on one’s viewpoint regarding situations (as if we are Socrates, huh).
What that means whether they are as emphatic as we are when treating other people. If their frame is better than our frame, we tend to either praise them or sometimes pass judgments to them for showing off.
When someone misbehaves with others, and such an act goes against our frame or in contrast to our perception, we do not take much time to criticize them. Sometimes even curse them.
All and all, in many ways, we are passing judgments on others mercilessly.
We judge others based on how they affectionate relationships. Whether they love partying or whether they are extremely private persons. How are they in social life?
Whatever they are, if they are like us that they enjoy partying and love to be with friends, then we accept them – if we also love partying and hanging out.
If they are introverts and love to live privately, and we also like to be private in our lives, then we are somehow at home with that personality because here, personality traits are in a perfect match.
We more likely to adore others for being like us, and we criticize & judge others for being different.
Hey there, do you remember when you were not performing well in your studies, and your parents started to compare you with others based on your competence? Well, High Fives, the condition here is also the same. Slow claps*.
People are and will judge based on your competency; in corporate culture, it is right, though. But comparing kids based on their marks in exams, Hmmm, is unacceptable.
The fact is we all are competent. We all have different talents and have different personality traits. If we compare a fish based on its ability to climb up the tree, then it would live all of its life thinking about its incompetence.
The fish example goes true for education only. But in an office scenario, one has to be competent, and there is no further debate on it. If someone lacks competency, then people will judge, and they are liable to judgment. There is no question that if you are incompetent in your professional life, then you have to face the music.
How not to judge others, or how to judge less
After all the rambling, one thing is certain; we cannot achieve the level where we liberate ourselves from judging others. Period.
Yes, but we can diminish our frequent judging habits to some extent. It can only be possible when we start to understand others.
Begin with why they are doing what they are doing? We have to ask this question repeatedly to ourselves, make it an affirmation.
When we ask this question frequently, our mind commence exploring why they are doing what they are doing, what are the things that make them do?
There is a story behind everyone’s life. Might be, someone who becomes an introvert and does not like to mingle with people has a story to tell; maybe someone molested them in their childhood. Perhaps some tragedy happened that disrupt someone’s personality.
Once we start to explore the reasons behind everyone’s behavior, we instantly become more likable; it develops Charisma. It’s the fact that those who judge others less are more likable than those who judge others.
Every day we judge others, sometimes based on how they behave, sometimes how they react to a situation, sometimes how they perform, etc. The first impression gives us some hint about personality, and we take no time to establish our judgments. This article is surrounded by such situations that are more personal. In social cases, we have to be vigilant.
Sometimes, it is good to judge others, especially when you are a parent. You have to judge your kids’ friends – especially with whom they hang out. It is vital in this case.
You also have to judge others for a security purpose; you can’t sit back and explore the minds of thieves and dacoits – you can after they are gone, not when they are at a scene. Otherwise – you know better.
So, don’t outrageously judge others by the first impression, try to get into their shoes, and then establish your viewpoint. Better not establish any perspective and accept them for being them.
p.s. Pixabay and Unplash powered Picture.