How to deal with people
The toughest job in this world of competition is to deal with people — both in personal and professional life. Managers are paid heavily due to their ability to get the best out of their employees. In homes, people do not make many efforts in effectual dealings that result in sabotaging the peace of home.
There is no way, under the blue sky, to make others work until you make them want to do it due to this reason Charles Schwab was paid $3000/day back in 1920 – insane. Andrew Carnegie, who funded Charles Schwab this immense amount, claimed that Charles is the best when dealing with people. You must get the hint.
If you have this fantastic ability to make others work to the best of their abilities, interminable wealth will flow towards you with wings.
It does not confine to dealing with people at a professional level; it is equally essential at a personal level. How you deal with your spouse, kids, parents, relatives, and neighbors. There must be some badgers in your way – how you deal with them defines your success both in professional and personal life.
So, the question comes to surface that how can we deal with the people?
There are many ways to deal with people effectively, but the single and by far the most effective way of dealing with people is by appreciating them.
1- Appreciate Them
Sigmund Freud said, “everything you and I do springs from two motives: the sex urge and the desire to be great,” here lies the critical point every one of us needs to hammer home. Everyone desires to be important in the eyes of others. People are more inclined to those who make others feel important.
Words are compelling, they envelop greatest assets. Words can lift someone, and it also has the negative power to put others down. According to Lincoln, “Everyone likes a compliment.” The best way to deal with people is by giving them appreciating. Make them feel comfortable in your presence.
Appreciate Others in Professionally life
If you are leading a team, find ways to appreciate your team genuinely. Even on the smallest of triumphs, appreciate them. Your appreciation means “a feeling of importance” to them. Now they must have a purpose behind the work. They know if they work diligently with sincerity, then they will be appreciated, and according to William James, “The deepest principle in human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”
Monetary appreciation is one thing that must not be overshadowed, but verbal appreciation in the presence of others will mean a world to others. This sincere appreciation has no substitute. Now you would see the leaders coming out from them.
Appreciate Others in Personal Life
When it comes to personal life, we often take our relationships with parents, spouses, kids, and neighbors for granted. We hardly appreciate them for whatever they have done for us. How our father has fulfilled our desires and dreams by giving up on his dreams and aspirations? How our mother sacrifice her sleep and her life for us? How our wife has managed all those things for us and amid of taking care of our next generation?
Why not appreciate them for their sacrifice and unconditional Love? Why not make them feel important because our mere words could lift their mood and maybe their lives.
Instead of finding ways to criticize others, better find ways to appreciate them.
2- Psychology says About Making Others Feel Important
According to the psychology, “People go insane because they have a feeling of importance in their insanity, which the world had denied to them in their sanity.”
When we do not appreciate people for their talent and their services, they go crazy. Because deep inside, they crave appreciation. They want recognition for their Love, care, and services.
No writer, author, musician, guitarist, stuntman – you name it, have ever reached the heights of success without an appreciation amid the journey.
There are cold nights and hot days that shatter even the best of us. We all need someone or some people to lift our morale and make us feel important.
Businesses cry over the lack of productivity of workers, but rarely they burrow deep to consider the actual reason. According to the statistics, 80% of the people are unhappy with their jobs because they feel stressed out and unappreciated.
Corporations & businesses that have the habit of appreciating employees with monetary rewards, and also appreciating them wholeheartedly in front of all the members, are thriving in their industry. Their managers find ways to elate others, and even on the worst days, they find ways to appreciate them. It’s more of a psychological thing.
3- What Psychiatrist says about Insanity
A professor of the school of Psychiatrists answered a question, why people go insane?
According to him, half of the Insanity belongs to chemical imbalances in the brain, and half of the people go insane because the world had denied to them the feeling of importance.
He reported an incident where a patient came to him. She was married, her husband did not like her, never eat with her, and torment her in every possible manner.
When she was married, she had a dream to have kids: a loving and caring husband who would care for her and would love to be around with her. Her world has toppled in front of her; what has happened is totally against her anticipation. She imagined the harmonious and scrumptious life, but she was left with gnawing pain.
The Psychiatrist further said she used to call him and announce his good news that she becomes a mother – every single day. Professor had denied to bring her back to a horrible reality, and let her live in an imaginative place where she could have a feeling of importance.
The bottom line is if you want to propel in arenas of life, then you should start appreciating others. Remember the famous saying, “What goes around comes around.” When you motivate others instead of belittling them, they will reciprocate. They will also be hearty in their approbation and lavish in their praise.
Nourish their self-esteem so that your self-esteem could be nourished.
4- Flattery is not the way
Someone might get it wrong, this article is not about flattery or giving someone spurious praise. Praise must of genuine i.e., directly from the heart.
A Mexican General said, “Don’t be afraid of enemies who attack you. Be afraid of friends who flatter you”. Flattery is nothing but cheap praise. When someone falsely praises others, there are always ulterior motives behind those mean words.
Anonymous said, “Flattery is telling the other person precisely what he thinks about himself.” People will see through the person who is buttering and using false praise for ulterior motives. Such a treacherous person never reaches the actual level of respect that people praise him at his back.
Here the emphasis is on how one genuinely praises others. One cannot wear the mask for too long. When a treacherous person gets exposed, people start to repel him.
Charles Schwab never used foul language and never criticized others for their mistake; instead, he always came up with ways to praise their little efforts. That makes him a wonderful person and also helped his steel industry to reach to the top.
The bottom line is always praised for others for their efforts – genuinely, of course. Your words might make someone’s day.
Note: Pixabay and Unplash power pictures