Criticism and Condemnation is Bad
The world in which we are breathing in is the world of criticism. Everyone has prejudices, and based on individual belief systems; we tend to poke and judge others.
We are living adulterated life full of resentment towards others, This is the sole reason why there is so much anarchy around us, and that is outrageous criticism and condemnation is terrible.
Criminals cease to accept the mistake
A notorious killer “Two-Gun” Crowley was the fiercest criminal in the history of New York, and according to them, then-commissioner that “He will kill at the drop of a feather.” He never used to think for a fraction of a second before taking someone’s life. It was like gameplay for him.
When he was confronted about all his mischief and was about to be crucified, he said, “This is what I get for defending myself,” according to the criminology report, no criminal ever convinced that he/she has done something wrong. They always come up with rants to justify their actions. (1)
If such notorious and sinister are not accepting the blame on their heads, then how can you suppose to believe that people with whom you and I come in any contact are going to admit their mistakes? Some intelligent individuals tend to admit their mistakes, but they are in smaller numbers.
Ninety-nine out of hundred times, people won’t criticize themselves for their evil actions and always replete with baseless arguments to cover up. The fact is, the criticism is dangerous, it proves to be the laceration in personal pride & vanity, and it only arouses resentment.
What is the solution then?
World-famous psychologist B.F Skinner proved through experiments that an animal rewarded for the utmost behaviors will learn and understand more effectively and will retain whatever has learned for long as compared to the brutally censured animals for their bad practices. Studies found that the same principle applies to humans.
Hans Selye, a famous psychologist, said, “As much as we thirst for approval, we dread condemnation.” (1)
Criticism engenders resentment, which leads to hatred and ought to dent relationships with friends, family members, colleagues, workers, etc. Criticism is like homing pigeons; they always return to their place.
Yes! I know your connotations are entirely in harmony, but your criteria in dealing with people are somewhat derogatory. We are living in our self-pride and vanity, and we would not tolerate it if some criticism is thrown at us. We, humans, are like that; instead of criticizing, we must need to tackle problems with alacrity and give remarks in such a manner that it reaches the mind of the receiver without taint his vanity.
We are all humans, and emotions drive us not with logic. We are emotional creatures, we have sentiments, and it hurts when someone criticizes us ferociously.
What should one do when he wants to criticize?
Back in time, in a construction company, an order was passed. According to the instructions, everyone should wear a safety helmet while at work. The head of their team was asked to maintain a check and balance on the workers.
After a couple of days of instructions, only a few of the workers were found wearing safety helmets, and many of them were working while wearing it. The head came in and did not criticize; instead, he gathered them and asked them if they have any issue in wearing helmets? Or are these helmets make you uncomfortable? After receiving their answers, he said a few words, “Your life is more important than anything, we do not want to lose adroit workers.” (1)
His words cast a great spell upon them, and after subsequent words, no one was found without wearing helmets. Had he been criticized them, would you think they wore a helmet with their own will?
Carlyle said,” A great man shows his greatness by the way he treats a little man.” Any fool can criticize and condemn others without knowing the repercussions. It takes the character to handle tough situations with diplomacy.
Parents criticize their Children
A natural tendency of our parents is to criticize their kids and condemn them in every possible manner. They forget the fact that their children are just new to this world and when they were at the same age, they used to behave the same and even worse.
Parents never try to get into the shoes of their kids. They evaluate them based on their knowledge and their exposure to this world instead of understanding them and handle them diplomatically, where their integrity and self-esteem remains intact.
Research shows, parents who criticize and condemn their kids unnecessarily, make their kids not only feel contempt about their parents but for themselves. Kids start to hate themselves and curse themselves in every possible manner.
It is advised to treat them diplomatically, sometimes show anger at them but must not hurt their integrity. Entice them towards self-love. Praise them for every little progress; it could be as small as making a wall from a logo.
“It is always inside out, not the outside in.” What this means, when parents instill love in the hearts of their children, their children will reciprocate love because they are replete with it. We can only exhibit something when we are in abundance.
The bottom line is to give them love and respect so that they could love and honor.
Humans crave love and appreciation. Instead of brutally criticize them for their mistakes, try to run horses of understanding. There might be a cause behind any mischievous act. Burrow deep to get to the root of a problem.
Problems of this world cannot be solved by eradicating criminals. Problems can only be solved by understanding them. Understanding is fundamental for extirpating criminal acts. We have to know how they think, what made them feel and why they become so insensitive that they never give it a thought before taking lives?
Love humans and hate their negative part. Hate the crime, not the criminal. The world is a place of love and peace. Let it be.
Note: Pixabay powers pictures